The Arms Ep III

Heading back to Ragol ? Maybe ..

    Teaching Maths


    Posts : 605
    Join date : 2010-03-24
    Age : 55
    Location : Lincolnshire U.K.

    Teaching Maths

    Post by Darkstone on Sat May 29, 2010 9:25 pm

    1. Teaching Maths in 1970
    A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
    His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
    What is his profit?

    2. Teaching Maths In 1980
    A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
    His cost of production is 80% of the price.
    What is his profit?

    3. Teaching Maths In 1990
    A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
    His cost of production is £80.
    How much was his profit?

    4. Teaching Maths In 2000
    A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
    His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
    Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

    5. Teaching Maths In 2005
    A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
    inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the
    preservation of our woodlands.
    Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the
    logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

    6. Teaching Maths In 2009
    A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
    offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
    felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of
    Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut
    something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident
    however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is
    therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA
    is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government
    agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100
    because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to
    find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He
    tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an
    ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in
    jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black
    market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and
    pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and
    asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to
    clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence.
    He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the
    peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a
    regulated government contractor.

    Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
    arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20
    profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state
    for the rest of his life?

    7. Teaching Maths In 2010
    A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan
    to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on
    a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in
    Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a
    few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who
    made the biggest losses.

    The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry
    however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions
    regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

    Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it
    back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send
    their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and
    their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to
    deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back
    home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and
    start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist
    and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay
    £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

    The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's
    are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim
    the difference on expenses and allowances.
    You do the maths.

    8. Teaching Maths 2017
    أ المسجل تبيع حموله شا نة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج
    الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

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    Age : 75

    Re: Teaching Maths

    Post by Briisace on Sun May 30, 2010 10:14 am

    Brilliant. Very Happy

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    Location : It's a crazy house!

    Re: Teaching Maths

    Post by Visage on Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:25 pm

    BUMP!! Missed this the first time everyone needs to read it.


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    Age : 44
    Location : scotland

    Re: Teaching Maths

    Post by DS9 on Fri Oct 21, 2011 7:25 pm

    yeah i think i missed it first time too. it just gets funnier as it goes on



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    Age : 34
    Location : Bristol

    Re: Teaching Maths

    Post by Fenon on Fri Oct 21, 2011 9:30 pm

    I also missed it.

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    Re: Teaching Maths

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